I have a lot of questions about this situation as well but I don’t think there are answers. But he did give custody of his mixed-race children to his neighbors, as opposed to his wife, so I think that might answer your question as to how she felt about the kids. It really is impossible to know.
Another really interesting name on the militia roll is Anthony Allaire. The South Yonkers Company of militia (that included men from Kingsbridge) was organized after the battles of Lexington and Concord. You would assume that the militia was composed of Patriots but at that time the national politics had not yet taken shape as “Patriots” versus “Loyalists.” Anthony Allaire would be best known as fighting for the British later in the war. In 1780 he was a loyalist soldier in the south and kept a detailed journal, which is treasured by historians of that theater of the war:
https://www.tngenweb.org/revwar/kingsmountain/allaire.html
It is wild to think that his military career started in Kingsbridge in the Patriot militia but ended as a prisoner of the Patriots in South Carolina. Like many local loyalists he wound up living in Canada after the war.